Friendship

I am blessed to have many wonderful friends. I know a large group of ladies who are strong, Godly, and fun women that I enjoy spending time with. But lately, I’ve been wondering how I can grow even deeper in these relationships. God created us to be relational, and we as women especially desire those personal connections. There are several reasons why I haven’t taken my friendships to a deeper level. One is time. We are all so busy, with our husbands, our kids, our jobs, our church and community activities, that it is difficult to carve out the time to connect deeply with other women. Another reason that I sometimes hold myself at arms’ length from others is fear. I’ve experienced betrayals of friendship in the past, and it is hard to break out of that self-protective mode. Lastly, like many other women, I suffer from a lack of self-confidence. I allow the enemy to convince me that I have nothing to add to the lives of others, so I withdraw.

This is hard for me to write, and put out there for others to see, but I am doing so in the hopes that I am not the only one struggling with this issue. Maybe my struggles can help somebody else who reads this today. I have a feeling that there are quite a few other women out there dealing with this same feeling of loneliness, even in the midst of a crowd.

What does God say about friendship? First, and most importantly, He wants us to be in relationship with Him. Jesus told his disciples in John 15:15, “I no longer call you servants…instead, I have called you friends.” This is foundational. We cannot have a deep, spiritual friendship with anyone if we do not know Jesus as Friend first. In fact, if we try to find our meaning and our value in our human friendships, rather than in the Savior, we will end up disappointed and disillusioned.

Second, we must realize that friendship ought not to be self-focused. 1 Corinthians 10:31 reminds us “Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” Even our friendships are to be lived out for God’s glory.

So how do we do that? Proverbs 18:24 (NKJV) says, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly…” In order to develop new friends, and deepen existing friendships, we need to reach out first. Instead of waiting for others to reach into our lives and bless us, we ought to focus on how we can be a blessing to others first. This can be scary, because it involves opening ourselves up to others. But fear is the enemy of friendships. 1 John 4:18 tells us, “There is no fear in love.” If we are willing to put aside our self-focus, to love others and minister to others, the fear will be driven away. “Perfect love drives out fear.”

I’m challenging myself to move deeper in my friendships this year. I want to grow deeper in that foundational Friendship first of all, but also in my other friendships. Would anyone else like to take up that challenge with me?

Walkin' Down the Heavenly Road

Walkin’ down the heavenly road, I’m gonna lay down my heavy load,
‘cause Jesus said He’d walk along with me. Praise God! Glory, hallelujah!
I’m singin’ all the way; I’ve got sunshine in every day.
So why not come along and join me walkin’ down the heavenly road?

We used to sing that happy little chorus in prayer group when I was in college. It’s got a catchy tune, and upbeat lyrics, and was a general favorite on campus. But it’s not altogether true, is it? I suppose we are, figuratively, walking on a heavenly road, but it’s not all sunshine and singing along the way. The counterpoint to this song is found in Psalm 23:4, “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” Some days are sunshine and singing, sure. Other times and seasons feel more like the valley of the shadow. The important part, though, is that He is there, walking with us, through all of it.
It’s interesting to me that we refer to a relationship with God as a “walk.” We get that from Scripture itself, of course. Throughout the Old Testament, the righteous are described as those who “walked” in the ways of the Lord. And in the New Testament, we are instructed to “walk” in the light. I think that Scripture uses the word “walk” so much because our relationship with God is not static. There is momentum involved. We are in motion, pressing toward a goal, as the apostle Paul might say (Phil. 3:14). And walking along with us, in good times and bad, is our Savior. As the song says, “Praise God! Glory, Hallelujah!”

Fear

For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment. 2 Timothy 1:7

Fear is an insidious thing. I haven’t written anything new in months, and I can make excuses, and blame the business of life, or I can be honest and admit that I’ve been fearful. I’ve been fearful of having nothing to say, or of not being able to artfully express what I do have to say. I don’t even know who, if anyone, reads what I write, but I’ve still been fearful of what others might think of me. It looks silly when I type it all out like that. Self-centered and foolish. But it’s the truth, and this fear has kept me from doing what I know God wants me to do, which is to write. It’s not often that I know for sure what God wants me to do. I believe He gives me a lot of freedom to choose what I want to do in my life, where I work, and where I live, for example. But when it comes to where I fit in the body of Christ, and what ministry He has given me to do, I know for sure that He wants me to write. This became clear to me over a year ago, and I pursued it eagerly at first. But then I let fear creep in. The enemy whispered in my ear that I’m not a good enough writer, and that I’m not a good enough Christian to write devotions for women. And I’m not. That much is true. But I let the enemy twist that truth, the simple truth that I am not perfect, and turn it into shame and fear. In reality, no one is “good enough,” but God still wants to use us anyway. In fact, it seems He delights in using “the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.” (1 Cor. 1:27)
Today I am making a new commitment to pursue this ministry that I believe God has called me into. I will not allow fear, and a shallow, self-centered fear at that, to keep me from doing what I know I need to be doing. My ministry may not affect many people, but since God called me to do it, I know He has a purpose for it.

The Lord is my light and my salvation,
Whom should I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life,
Of whom should I be afraid?
Psalm 127:1

October is gone

This month has flown by, and I never had a chance to write a new devotional, so I decided post the devotional I wrote last October. It was a good one for me to go back and read anyway.

From October 2007:

It will surprise nobody, least of all my family, that I have flaws. Recently, while my husband was out of town, my precious children got to experience some of the flaws of their tired, stressed-out mom. Why is it that we often behave the worst towards the ones we love the most?
During humbling times like that, when I have to apologize to small children for my own immature behavior, I wonder if God still wants to use me? I wonder what worth I am to Him?
In her Bible Study Living Your Life as a Beautiful Offering, Angela Thomas writes, “If only the flawless can use their gifts, then no one can.”
The reality is that God wants to use us, with all our flaws and our weaknesses, to bring glory to Him. 1 Corinthians 1:27 tells us that God “has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.” And in 2 Corinthians 12:9, God tells Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
God knows that we have flaws and weaknesses. But He still wants us to move forward in our walk with Him, to use our gifts for His service. Like Paul, we can be “confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

Gifts from the heart

So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7)


I receive many gifts from my young children. They seem to have a knack for sculpting large, messy works of “art” from common household objects, bits of nature, and what most of us would consider trash. Then I am presented with one of these masterpieces, usually still dripping with glue, along with the words, “Just for you, mommy!” Yet, there is something so pure in the love and generosity of my children’s hearts, that I actually do treasure those homemade gifts (at least until they inevitably fall apart).

Gifts given out of a loving heart are so much more meaningful than gifts given out of obligation. I’m sure we have all received an obligatory gift from a relative or co-worker. Even if it is expensive, tasteful, and beautifully wrapped, it is meaningless if you know the giver is grudging.

It’s amazing how God digs right down to the heart, all the time. Sometimes, when I consider giving a gift to Him, whether it is a financial gift, an act of service, a song of worship, or whatever, I may worry that what I’m offering him is messy and imperfect. I may even be tempted to hold back my gifts to Him, thinking they aren’t good enough. But when I think about those messy, sticky gifts that my children lovingly offer to me, I realize that it isn’t about the gift at all. God doesn’t need my money, my service, my songs. He wants my heart to love Him, and to be so overflowing with that love, that I want to give something, “just for Him.”

Friends

I reconnected recently with two old friends, one I had known since childhood, and another that I knew in college. Both of these reconnections were made possible by Facebook. Ironically, I was reluctant to join Facebook initially. I felt like it would be an imposition upon my life, so I resisted for a while. When I finally gave in to the peer pressure and set up my account, I found that it was an easy and fun way to keep in touch with friends, both old and new.

When I read the epistles that Paul wrote to various churches, letters that make up the bulk of our New Testament, I can’t help but notice the tender words that he has for the people in these churches.
“I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all.” (Romans 1:9)
“(I) do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers.” (Ephesians 1:16)
“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.” (Philippians 1:3)

These are the words of a man who loved his friends deeply, who understood how vital true friendships are. Paul even gives the occasional shout out to specific people in his letters. Imagine, these are names that made it into the every word of God, simply because they were friends of Paul.

Our friendships can be a sustaining force in our lives. Our friends can challenge us, encourage us. They hold us when we are grieving, laugh with us when we are celebrating. As a naturally introverted person, I sometimes struggle with opening up to people, even friends I have known for years. I tend to hold my feelings inside. But as a result, I sometimes miss out on some of the joys and benefits that friendship holds.
I’m glad I caved into the peer pressure and opened my Facebook account. I’m glad I had the opportunity to reconnect with those two different ladies, who each added more fullness to my life through friendship.

So then, in this way, my dearly loved brothers,
my joy and crown, stand firm in the Lord, dear friends.
Philippians 4:1

Woman at the Well

Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water so that I won't get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water."
John 4:13-15

I watched a TV show recently that showed what it was like to live on the Navajo Indian reservation in Arizona. Many of the residents do not have running water, and every few days they drive to a pump where they fill up large tanks of water to be used for all their cooking, cleaning, and drinking needs. It was eye-opening for me, because I take water for granted. I can just walk over to a tap any time I want and get clean, drinkable water, and it never runs out.

Imagine what the woman at the well in John 4 was thinking when Jesus told her He could give her living water. She most likely had to walk to that well every single day, carrying a heavy jug to transport the water. We read this passage, and of course we know that Jesus is speaking metaphorically about the living water. But she was living in the reality of the daily tasks she needed to accomplish. She wanted an end to the drudge work. I think if I met Jesus today, and He told me about the “fine linen, bright and clean” that He will give me (Revelation 19:8), I might just think, “Yay, no more laundry!” (Yes, I have three loads waiting to be folded as I type.)

It didn’t take long for Jesus to help the woman at the well understand that her needs were spiritual. That woman started her day in the usual way, completing her usual chores, going to the well to fetch water to meet the physical needs of herself and her family. She met Jesus there, and He changed her life. The passage in John goes on to say, “Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony.” (4:39)

Because of the modern marvel of indoor plumbing, I take water for granted, but I’m still a lot like the woman at the well, living in the reality of my daily tasks and not seeing my spiritual needs because I’m so focused on my to-do lists. I need a reminder now and then to take a few moments out of my day to meet with Jesus and let Him change my perspective and give me a testimony to share with others.