Fear is an insidious thing. I haven’t written anything new in months, and I can make excuses, and blame the business of life, or I can be honest and admit that I’ve been fearful. I’ve been fearful of having nothing to say, or of not being able to artfully express what I do have to say. I don’t even know who, if anyone, reads what I write, but I’ve still been fearful of what others might think of me. It looks silly when I type it all out like that. Self-centered and foolish. But it’s the truth, and this fear has kept me from doing what I know God wants me to do, which is to write. It’s not often that I know for sure what God wants me to do. I believe He gives me a lot of freedom to choose what I want to do in my life, where I work, and where I live, for example. But when it comes to where I fit in the body of Christ, and what ministry He has given me to do, I know for sure that He wants me to write. This became clear to me over a year ago, and I pursued it eagerly at first. But then I let fear creep in. The enemy whispered in my ear that I’m not a good enough writer, and that I’m not a good enough Christian to write devotions for women. And I’m not. That much is true. But I let the enemy twist that truth, the simple truth that I am not perfect, and turn it into shame and fear. In reality, no one is “good enough,” but God still wants to use us anyway. In fact, it seems He delights in using “the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.” (1 Cor. 1:27)
Today I am making a new commitment to pursue this ministry that I believe God has called me into. I will not allow fear, and a shallow, self-centered fear at that, to keep me from doing what I know I need to be doing. My ministry may not affect many people, but since God called me to do it, I know He has a purpose for it.
The Lord is my light and my salvation,
Whom should I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life,
Of whom should I be afraid?
Psalm 127:1
Whom should I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life,
Of whom should I be afraid?
Psalm 127:1
1 comment:
Tara, this is a wonderful BLOG. Thank you for taking the time to put your thoughts into words. It is inspiring to know I'm not the only one who if fearful at times.
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